What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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