it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
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