okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
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I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
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This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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