Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
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