OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
You pole danced in your parka.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
