He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Randomize
