she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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