I'm eating all of the evidence.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
You are the jesus of drinking
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
