It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Randomize
