just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
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