508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize