i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
i now understand why vodka
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize
