I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
