ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
