At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
