she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Randomize