Soap is not a condiment
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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