we're chasing vodka with high fives
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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