Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize
