somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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