Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
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I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
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Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
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