She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Randomize
