I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I just found a bag of teeth...
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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