Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Randomize
