I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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