Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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