i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
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