He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
