I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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