My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
handjob tips. give me some.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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