dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
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