I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
