I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
