Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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