Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
then he tried to convert me to islam
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
