I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
