she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
