when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Randomize
