I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
