love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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