hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
