One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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