You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
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