I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
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