Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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