Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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