I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Randomize
