I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
