Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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