whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
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