So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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