I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
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