i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
As shirtless as possible
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
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