you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
