no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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