That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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