I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize