Cold hands, warm shart.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research