I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
