I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Randomize
