I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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