yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
