ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
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I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
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I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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